Identity Crisis

Heading into the new year, almost everyone makes at least one resolution. When making mine, I try to stick to a meaningful one. This year, I was having trouble thinking of one. As I was scrolling through Instagram yesterday, it hit me.

For as long as I can remember, I have been a very introspective person. I’ve kept a journal from a young age, wandered off into nature just to be, and zoned out during life more times than I can count. Nothing has changed on that account; I am in my thoughts more often than not. The more I go out into the world now (college, making new friends, etc.) the more I realize I don’t really like who I’ve allowed myself to become.

I’ve changed, naturally, but I’ve allowed my true identity to become hidden behind a slew of imposters. I’ve allowed myself to believe the lie that my identity is found in what I do. I believed my identity could be found my role as a volleyball player, in my GPA, in who I was or wasn’t friends with…Those ideas only lead me to heartache.

In truth, my only identity is found in Jesus Christ, and I know that. However, in the past couple of years specifically, I feel that isn’t true in practice. I have gotten so caught up in comparison, drama, feelings ~noise~ that I’ve forgotten and strayed from who I am. A daughter of the King.

And so this year, my resolution is to find strength in my true identity. It doesn’t matter where I live, who I know, what I post, or where I go. The only thing that matters is who died for me and my acknowledgement of that fact.

Here’s to not going through the motions, not pouring over social media posts and pictures only to discover and rediscover insecurities in myself; instead, I will choose to pause. Focus. Pray. And worship the God who put me here. Realize I don’t need anything else but Him.

So this year, I encourage you to take a step back. If you are guilty of comparing yourself or your life to others, especially through social media, you are being unfair to yourself. We were all created uniquely. We are not meant to have all the same experiences, look the same, or think the same. Our Creator did not intend for this to be a world full of people who were the same. I am different from you and we should embrace and build on those differences. They are what make us amazing.

Here’s to 2020.

Love, Reagan