college – The Grow Up Project

Identity Crisis

Christianity in the Face of College Culture Series

Some time ago, I wrote an opening blog post for a series of discussions I wanted to have. I titled the post, Christianity in the Face of College Culture. I took the past few months to observe what I see in the “Christian Crowd” on campus and what I see in the crowd that doesn’t seem to conform to any particular belief system. Perhaps they see themselves as “spiritual.” What I’ve noticed is this: Christians, in college and in America, are going through an identity crisis.

You might be thinking, no I know who I am. Well, I thought that, too. As I was thinking that, some memories began to pop up in my head. Memories that, I confess, caused me to cringe and I felt convicted. When I was a sophomore in college (it seems forever ago, but it was only a year and a half), I went through some sort of inclusivity/diversity training. During the training, we were asked to do an exercise that, at the time, I didn’t really think all that much about. There was a picture of a human body, but it was blank, like a coloring page. We were asked to draw and write things on that body that would reflect who we were; our identity.

I don’t remember the order I drew or wrote these things, but I remember I included a crown (because I’m a daughter of THE King), some symbols of sports I played, things I liked to do, things that seem harmless. We talked about our identities in the group and we moved on. I didn’t think about it again for about a month, and then God. I know some of you understand the type of moment I’m talking about when I say “and then God.” I was sitting in my best friend’s basement and we were talking about the crazy trainings that our colleges have put us through. She then began to describe the EXACT same exercise that I had done a month before. And then, she said something that hit me, HARD.

She told me that she wrote something along the lines of “saved by God, redeemed, child of God,” something to show her identity was found in Christ. And that was all she put. She went on to say that she, and one other girl, were the only ones who wrote that in the whole group of people doing the activity. She was horrified that so many people found their identities elsewhere.

I tell that story because I think that is one of, if not the, root of some of the issues in not only college culture, but in Christian culture. If you are a follower of Christ, THAT is your identity. It’s not your sexuality, it’s not your gender, your family members, your job, your hobbies, your political party….no. Friend, your identity, if you truly are a Christian, is found in Christ, and Christ alone.

Now, I am all too guilty of finding my identity elsewhere. The Holy Spirit has convicted me time and again that I am finding my purpose in my grades, in my job, in my friendships. So, if that’s you, let’s work together to remind our brothers and sisters in Christ of who we belong to. We don’t belong to our jobs, our political parties, or even our families; we belong to Christ.

Last night, I was watching a video involving progressive Christianity and it scared me. It confirmed for me that there is indeed an Identity Crisis, not only in college culture but in the Church in America. Here’s my question to you: how do we, as followers of Christ, stand true in our identity, spread Christ’s love and gospel, and defend the truth of the Bible? How do we live it out?

Christianity in the Face of College Culture

What does it take to live as a follower of Christ in college? I’ve been living this reality for almost 3 years now, and at times, it’s a very lonely road. My journey has changed so much from when I first started at my university to now. I can happily say that my relationship with Christ has come out stronger, amidst the challenges college has thrown at me- but it is NOT as simple as that. There have been a crazy amount of highs and lows, and this journey is far from over. Research is showing that an alarming 70% of young adults leave the church as college students (Christianity Today, 2019). Finding this statistic really grabbed my curiosity. Why are so many college students leaving?

Obviously, moving to a new town for college plays a huge roll in church attendance. Speaking from my own experience, it’s pretty intimidating trying to find a new church, especially when you’re by yourself. Finding Christian friends has been difficult in college, and so I ended up going to several church services by myself. However, a growing reason being cited in surveys for leaving the church is political and spiritual concerns (Christianity Today, 2019). I’m sad to say that this was not shocking information to me. All you have to do is jump on social media and look at the tweets from college students. “Spirituality” is a HUGE topic, but not spirituality in any sort of biblical sense.

Have you ever heard the term “manifestation?” I see it everywhere, and it actually makes me sick to my stomach now. Manifestation is the idea that you can speak something into existence. I hope that believers can see right through that idea, but unfortunately, it seems many people who profess to be Christians fall right into the trap. Astrology is another thing that I have witnessed too many people get caught up in. Astrology appears to say that the alignment of the stars, many times on the day you were born, influences your life and who you are. I’m sure you’ve seen a post about Virgos, Cancers, Geminis, etc. I confess that even caught my attention at some level, and I found myself looking for my “sign.” Thankfully, I didn’t dive deeper into that. The deeper down the rabbit hole you look, the eviler it gets.

Those ideas only scratch the surface level of what is pulling on college students. Being surrounded by those and many other unbiblical ideas, it seems very difficult to stand up for what you believe in. But I believe, that is getting to the root of the problem. Why are these things able to pull Christians away from the church and/or away from their values and what they believe? Why is going into your new college town to look for a church “too hard?” Here I ask you to look within. As we all need to do, these students need to examine their hearts. Do they actually believe in Jesus Christ and the resurrection? Do they believe in the gospel that the Bible teaches? I think the answer is no.

I recently had the opportunity to watch a documentary called American Gospel. It is extremely informative and I think everyone should watch it. It discusses how the gospel message has been twisted and turned to meet what we want, as humans, effectively producing something coined the “prosperity” gospel. Unfortunately, I believe that is the gospel many people believe, not to mention adding in all the other “gospels” being preached from college campuses. Of course, they don’t call themselves such, but they claim to be the truth. And that is where the problem begins…

I’ve Been Quarantined!

As we all are aware of, we’re living in some very uncertain times. Different people scared for different reasons, but I think we can all agree we wish the whole thing would go away. I recently, as in this week, moved back into my dorm room. My school is going above and beyond on COVID-19 preparation and attempted prevention. But yet, here I sit in quarantine…

So this begs the question, what are we doing wrong? What are we doing right? Are any of the steps and extra measures doing anything? I wish someone could give a concrete and uniform answer, but I have to say, I’m beginning to form my own conclusions.

Here are the facts. I moved into college at the beginning of this week. Masks are required in all buildings on campus, including inside my dorm. This means I have to wear a mask from the moment I enter the building until I close my dorm room door behind me. I have met with a group of other Resident Assistants daily, always socially distancing, and always wearing masks.

Everyone who is currently in the dorms was tested for COVID-19 yesterday using a saliva test (yay for objects NOT getting shoved up into our brains!) This afternoon, the RAs were informed that we had been exposed to someone who tested positive and effective immediately, would go into a two week quarantine. Now, I’m not here to complain. I do want to draw attention to what being quarantined looks like in a college setting. I think, perhaps, we could do better.

Being quarantined at college looks like this:

I am not allowed to leave the dorms (aka I can’t go outside to walk/exercise)
I am not allowed to leave my dorm room (aka I can’t go into the hallway)
I am not allowed to walk down my hallway and fill up my water bottle
My meals are brought to me by staff three times a day and left outside my room with a knock on my door until I acknowledge it
I am not allowed to be in physical contact with anyone else, including the other RAs who had the same exposure as me
I am to remain inside my dorm room until the health department releases me from quarantine
Those who were exposed are getting tested again on Monday, although we were just tested yesterday
We were not told who tested positive or when we were exposed (yes, I understand there are privacy measures to be had, but I also think it would be a good idea to know when we were exposed and who exposed us)

My question to you, the reader, is this. Do you feel that these conditions are healthy? Mental, physical, and emotional health? What do we do with this information?

I’m living this and the unfortunate reality is, there is more to come. Classes have not even started yet. 1 positive case = all the people exposed to that person immediately go into quarantine for a minimum of a week, likely longer. With that kind of reaction, will ANYTHING get done?

25 Things to Do in Quarantine

Okay, I miss college. I miss my friends, going to physical classes, and all of the extra stuff that comes with being a college student. But, if I’m home, I’m going to make the best of it. I’ve seen many, many people say they are actually tired of watching Netflix, Disney+, etc. And I have to admit, when I binge watch something on a normal day, it’s relaxing but now? Nope. I want to go walk through Target or dream about how I’ll decorate my house in Hobby Lobby. Unfortunately, that won’t be happening right now. So, without further adieu, I present 50 things you can do in quarantine that won’t just end up with you in front of the tv screen (unproductively, anyway)…

1. Cook/bake something new

This is something that I myself have been a BIG fan of, particularly…CAKE! It’s fun to find new recipes, work on my frosting skills (which are not that great much to my disappointment), and force my little sister to do it with me 🙂 It’s a blast and it’s productive. Only one downfall, dishes.

2. Write

Writing is something that I love to do, but even if you aren’t a writer, try it! Document your experience of quarantine, let your imagination run wild with the end of the world scenarios, learn how to do fancy handwriting techniques, JUST WRITE! Writing is a great escape.

3. Games

Now, I’m sure this is something that people have definitely turned to. Our family personally has been on a card game kick, and we LOVE Uno and Skip-Bo. If you’re bored with the games you’ve been playing, look a new card game OR get creative and make up a new one!

4. Clean

I know, I know…clean? But being stuck inside is a great time to finally realize all the things we have in our houses that we don’t actually use. Use this time to sort through your closet, dust the ceiling fan (I know you need to do that), actually deep clean the bathroom, wipe down the baseboards, clean all the windows you can reach, the things to be cleaned are endless!

5. Groom Your Own Dog

Now, I’m sure that’s not one you’ve heard out there a lot. It’s also probably true that you don’t have the typical dog grooming tools. But, if you’re not afraid to make mistakes, give your dog a bath, get some scissors, and start clipping. Don’t worry if you mess up, no one will know for at least two more weeks.

6. Read

Yes, yes, I know, READ! If you have that long pile of books in your house that you’ve been neglecting, tackle it! While the libraries might be closed, try online alternatives available on phones, computers, and kindles. A simple google search or look at your library’s website will most likely give you access. And if you are so inclined, Barnes & Noble (and I’m sure many others) run specials weekly for cheap books $2.99 and under.

7. Order Take-Out

In a time like this, supporting businesses (especially local) is crucial for these businesses to make it through this time. A lot of them are even running specials so you might get a great deal! Of course, follow protocol and social distance.

8. Puzzles

If you’re anything like my family, you have a whole cabinet full of puzzles. Use this time to break them out and get solving!

9. Learn a New Language

I’m not naive enough to think we can actually learn a whole language during the quarantine, but I do know you can get a good start! Personally, I started learning American Sign Language about a year ago but was struggling to devote time to learn more. Quarantine has given me the perfect opportunity to keep working at it.

10. Extravagant Makeup Looks

With all of this free time and nowhere to go, what better idea than to break out the makeup and finally be able to dip your brush in that bright blue color you never use.

11. Let Your Body Heal

Okay, so this next one might not be for everyone. What I mean by “heal” is to allow your body to return to its natural process for cleaning itself without the interference of shampoo and conditioner, deodorant, or caked-on makeup. Now is the perfect time to acclimate your hair to only being washed once a week, or less. Or begin switching to a natural or aluminum-free deodorant. Alternatively, let your skin take a break from the foundation you put on every day and breathe.

12. Make Your Own Earrings

I found this idea several weeks ago and fell in love with the outcome. All you need is polymer clay and the jewelry clasps needed to make whatever kind of earrings you prefer. After rolling, shaping, and decorating your clay, poke holes at the top/bottom for the clasps to go through. Then bake! I baked mine at 275 degrees Fahrenheit for about 15 minutes.

13. Knit, Sew, Crochet

Any of these could be very helpful to essential workers during this time, so if you already know how to knit, sew, or crochet, you could work to make masks, ear protectors, etc. If you don’t know how now is (once again) the perfect time to learn!

14. Go For a Walk, Bike, or Scooter Ride

Yes, you read that right. Scooter. In my family, we go on many walks anyway. We decided to get creative and started bringing our scooters along. Believe me, it’s an experience you won’t forget.

15. Make Your Own Play-doh or Cloud Dough

While I, personally, have not made this, it seems like an activity that kids would really enjoy doing. I’ve seen some recipes for cloud dough that are super simple and make a good smelling dough that isn’t sticky at all! Again, the internet probably has tons of recipes!

16. Learn How to Solve a Rubics Cube

This idea, courtesy of my brother, is a great one if you just feel you aren’t being challenged enough.

17. Learn How to Change a Tire

If you don’t know how to change a tire, or maybe change your oil, now is a time where we don’t really need to drive anywhere which means your car is available for you to work on.

18. Mushroom Hunting

Fortunately (haha!) quarantine is falling right during mushroom season here in the Midwest. Grab a bag, head out to the timber, and find yourself some dinner! If you’ve never hunted/cooked mushrooms before, you’ll want to soak them in salt water for about 15 minutes before frying ’em up!

19. Make Bracelets

This one is something my sister has been doing lately. Gather your string and start your chosen method of braiding. You could have one for each of your friends by the time this is over!

20. Go Fishing

Here in the Midwest, many people are breaking out the fishing poles and heading to the ponds/lakes. Fishing is a great day to work on expanding your attention span 😉

21. Start Bullet Journaling

Now is the free time you’ve been waiting for! Harness those creative juices and spend some time detailing or planning out your bullet journal. Maybe you’ll even use your fancy new handwriting techniques.

22. Workout/ Work on Flexibility

You literally have no excuses to not work out right now. The internet is swarming with at-home, no equipment workouts. If you want something slower pace, do yoga. If you want to get your heart rate up, find a HITT workout. You could even do one with the whole family. The options are endless!

23. Be Artistic

Draw, color, paint, whatever it is, harness your inner artist. Chances are, you have at least one pencil and piece of paper lying around in your house. Paint a flower pot or your water bottle. Take some time and see what you can do!

24. DIY Home Improvements

If you’ve been meaning to work on something in your house, now is the time. Paint those cabinets, replace that one door, repaint a room…

25. Make Breakfast for Your Family

This will give you a reason to get up before 2 pm! Plan out an elaborate (or not) breakfast for your whole family, and serve it to them however you so choose.

*Bonus: Take Time to Read Your Bible and Pray

Again, no excuses! This is a perfect opportunity to spend more time in prayer and to find your way around the Bible. Watch online church on Sundays and check-in on friends, family, and neighbors.

Hopefully these ideas were helpful and gave you some more ideas! I know I’ve seen several of these out there on the internet, but sometimes seeing someone else’s ideas helps you piggyback and come up with your own. So, go crazy! Enjoy the time you get to spend with your housemates right now and plan for the best time ever once we get out of quarantine.

Flashback on February

Happy Leap Day! Today I am thankful for the beautiful sunshine and clear sky that let me do some homework outside (and get some much needed Vitamin D!) With that being said, February flew past me and this extra day has allowed me to soak in my February memories. I shared briefly in my last post about some girls on my floor who always go the extra mile. This month, I gave the whole floor the opportunity to share some love.

My bulletin board this month allowed for girls to send each other some love. On Valentine’s day, someone even put candy in every envelope! Once again, I absolutely adore the culture these girls create on our floor and count myself lucky to be a part of it.

This month, the door decs were “lovebugs.”

Realizing how fast this month went past, I started to think. If one month went by this fast, the next two years of college is going to be done in the blink of an eye. And after that, life. My message today is to not let life pass you by. Go out and do something everyday, whether it’s just going on a walk and enjoying the beauty of creation, or going to Chick-fil-a with a friend. Make every day count.

None of us know how much time we have on this earth. Count your blessings each day, love those around you fiercly, and make each moment count.

Every day is an opportunity. What are you going to do with this one?

Reflecting on My Blessings

Can we all agree than January took forever? I mean, from a college student perspective, it felt like I did so much in that half a month we were at school.

It only took me half of February to realize I’ve been slacking on my blog game. I haven’t even updated about my January RA stuff! Well, I’m going to remedy that right now.

For January’s door decs, I made party hats to celebrate the New Year!

For my bulletin board, I gave students the opportunity to share some of their favorite songs. It was a big HIT 😉

Now, I have to brag for a minute. I am blessed in so many ways (can I get an Amen?!) and being given this floor was just one more blessing! My residents are the absolute sweetest. They always come through on interactive things, like this bulletin board. One room on my floor has been giving back to others, and I just wanted to share that love with all of you. In December, this room hung candy canes on their door, free to any who wanted a little Christmas cheer. This month, they have hung free valentines on their door for people to take.

I mean, c’mon! How much sweeter can it get?

Something that being an RA has taught me is to always count my blessings. I encounter so many different types of people at college, but being an RA gives me relationships with people I never otherwise would have. They help me to truly appreciate what I have been blessed with, and I hope I never take it for granted.

I challenge you this month to reflect on your own blessings. What has God given you? How can you show your appreciation?

Tune in next time to see some ways I’ve been showing my appreciation to my residents.

Identity Crisis

Heading into the new year, almost everyone makes at least one resolution. When making mine, I try to stick to a meaningful one. This year, I was having trouble thinking of one. As I was scrolling through Instagram yesterday, it hit me.

For as long as I can remember, I have been a very introspective person. I’ve kept a journal from a young age, wandered off into nature just to be, and zoned out during life more times than I can count. Nothing has changed on that account; I am in my thoughts more often than not. The more I go out into the world now (college, making new friends, etc.) the more I realize I don’t really like who I’ve allowed myself to become.

I’ve changed, naturally, but I’ve allowed my true identity to become hidden behind a slew of imposters. I’ve allowed myself to believe the lie that my identity is found in what I do. I believed my identity could be found my role as a volleyball player, in my GPA, in who I was or wasn’t friends with…Those ideas only lead me to heartache.

In truth, my only identity is found in Jesus Christ, and I know that. However, in the past couple of years specifically, I feel that isn’t true in practice. I have gotten so caught up in comparison, drama, feelings ~noise~ that I’ve forgotten and strayed from who I am. A daughter of the King.

And so this year, my resolution is to find strength in my true identity. It doesn’t matter where I live, who I know, what I post, or where I go. The only thing that matters is who died for me and my acknowledgement of that fact.

Here’s to not going through the motions, not pouring over social media posts and pictures only to discover and rediscover insecurities in myself; instead, I will choose to pause. Focus. Pray. And worship the God who put me here. Realize I don’t need anything else but Him.

So this year, I encourage you to take a step back. If you are guilty of comparing yourself or your life to others, especially through social media, you are being unfair to yourself. We were all created uniquely. We are not meant to have all the same experiences, look the same, or think the same. Our Creator did not intend for this to be a world full of people who were the same. I am different from you and we should embrace and build on those differences. They are what make us amazing.

Here’s to 2020.

Love, Reagan

Growing Pains

Hello all! I am currently one final away from Christmas break, which is extremely exciting. However, because of my position as an RA, I stay at school until the end of finals week and the dorm closes to check out all my residents. I thought you should get to see the door decs and bulletin board for this month’s programming…

The Giving Tree: Inexpensive or FREE ways for students to give back to their communities.

The months of November and December have brought with them a season of change. Of course, they are part of the most stressful time of the year for college students everywhere because, one word- finals.

No, this year was different. In the past month and a half, a huge role model in my life here at the university has gone on to different things. She was more than my supervisor. As some of you know, I moved onto campus on August 1st of this year, 24 days before the first day of class, 10 days before fall athletes would move in, and 23 days before everyone else. This woman fed, trained, and entertained 8 RAs for that amount of time every single day. She became our mom away from home. As the semester continued, she checked in on us as a group every week. And then she checked on us individually every week. About a month ago, out of the blue, we were told she wouldn’t be returning to the university.

I was heartbroken. 4 of the 8 RAs quit the day we found out. Students began to pass around a petition to sign to show that the students were angry. We went a week with basically no one in charge of us. The only word that could sum up that week was chaos. Incidents were happening left and right in the dorms and us RAs were having to deal with them essentially on our own. In the midst of all that, the RAs were expected to deal with the students, put on our programming events, put up our door decs and bulletin boards, keep up our grades, get over the loss of our supervisor, and keep a smile plastered on our faces. By far, that was the hardest week of my semester, and many other people’s.

I think we can all agree that those of us in college are at a weird stage in our lives. It looks different for everyone, but basically we are in a battle between being a kid, being a student, and adulting. We are the “in between.” Honestly, it’s a weird stage. Handling that week (that felt like a month) was what I like to call a growing pain. It was hard. It was weird. It was unfair. I didn’t like it. But I made it through.

I know that these “growing pains” won’t stop happening. After all, what is life about if not growth? We are constantly learning and growing, and yeah, sometimes it’s gonna be painful. Sometimes, it won’t feel like it’s worth it. But it’s not impossible.

I still miss my supervisor like crazy. In fact, it’s one of the things that makes me emotional after only a few seconds of talking about it. But things happen, life happens, we grow.

And it hurts.

But afterwards, we stand a little taller and we’re a little stronger.

Spooky Season

I call this “Spooky Season” for many reasons. The obvious Halloween time but also, some recent activities in my life can only be described as spooky. For instance, the way my bank account is looking at this point in the semester…

Tears for being a broke college student aside, I wanted to share how my door decs and bulletin board turned out for this month. As an RA, we update our door decs and bulletin boards on a monthly basis. For October’s door decs, I decided to use different Halloween themed scrapbook paper, stencil one of four classic Halloween symbols on them, and then outline in purple glitter. Here’s my results:

For my bulletin board, I was originally planning on doing a 3D pumpkin patch, but after a few mess ups, I went in a different direction…

I know all of my stuff is Halloween themed, but if I’m being honest, Halloween is definitely not my favorite holiday. So of course, I added some fall touches to my room decor.

A cute reminder to be thankful that hangs right next to my desk!

And of course, the day I finally get around to posting all of my fun fall decorations, it SNOWS! I can see snow on the cars outside my window so I guess it’s a sign that I should go ahead as scheduled and put up my Christmas tree on November 1st…too soon?

You Mean I Can’t Do It All?

I am so guilty. Guilty of trying to do everything on my own. Guilty of bottling all of my stress up and exploding eventually. Guilty of either being too scared or to prideful to ask for help. But I’m working on that. Last week, I went through one of the most stressful weeks of my life, and it humbled me.

Those that know me can attest to the fact that I am a perfectionist. I want to be the best. This trait has manifested itself in my life in many ways, but one of the most prominent is in school. Growing up, schoolwork came very naturally for me. Senior year things started to get a little bit harder, but I thought to myself, I got this. Freshman year of college had maybe, oh, a few challenging moments, but I got through it. I was fine. (My life motto should really be, “It’s fine, I’m fine.”) And here we are, sophomore year.

I was so excited coming into this year. I changed my major and am finally extremely passionate about what I’m going to do for the rest of my life. I came into this school year in several leadership positions, I was in a better and more positive mindset. I’m taking more hours, I’m planning events, I’m carving out time to do office hours for two different leadership positions, AND my room is clean. Well, all that is, until last week. My graceful handling of my life and juggling of all my extracurriculars was going just fine until my perfectionism began to catch up to me.

I had three week’s worth of homework assigned to me in one weekend with a test the first class period of that following week. In Microeconomics-which let’s just say, is not my strong subject. It really doesn’t sound that bad once I type it out, but for my brain, nothing was clicking. I was a mess. If I wasn’t in class, I was sitting at my desk attempting to talk myself through my homework, crying a few tears in frustration, and showing all the signs of a mental breakdown. I was at my breaking point.

AND I STILL DIDN’T ASK FOR HELP. Luckily for me, God blessed me with some amazing friends that I don’t deserve. They saw me struggling, although let’s be honest, it was obvious, and helped me. It wasn’t anything huge. But as soon as they did it, I calmed down. I started thinking things through. And I did it.

With the help of a cherry limeade. Sometimes, it’s the smallest things.

My point is, ASK FOR HELP before you get to the mental breakdown point. That’s something that I’m working on for myself. Personally, being the “nerd” growing up in school, I viewed asking for help as a weakness. I thought I should be able to figure everything out on my own. I’ve slowly been learning that God didn’t put us on this earth to do things alone. We were made to need God and other people. The older I get, the more I find myself needing more of those things. So ask for help. That can look like asking for help with homework or asking your friends to go do something because you need a break.

Believe me, I’m the first person to think I can do it all. And it won’t be the last time I have a mental breakdown because of that. But the truth is, we can’t do everything ourselves. We all need a little help sometimes.